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31 March 2009

a love so big, bigger than food

eating with a sick baby in the house

We haven't been that interested in food around here.

Oh, maybe I should re-state that. We're always interested in food, in the sensory pleasures of it, and the politics of it. (If you haven't read this piece about the price of off-season tomatoes, oh gosh. Click over.) If nothing else, we have to eat.

So let me start over, because I haven't been that good at expressing myself lately. I stumble over words and stop in mid-sentence. Lack of sleep renders me sloppy and mute.

There haven't been many meals that take hours to make around here. Or even complete meals. It just hasn't mattered as much as...

walking Little Bean up and down the hallways in the middle of the night, propped up on our shoulders so her poor little nose can drain. Or rocking her in the green chair, until she falls asleep on my chest, and I sit there all night long, holding her, keeping myself awake so I don't drop her. Or sitting in the sauna we're calling the bathroom, the steam rolling across the shower curtain bar in puffy clouds toward her nose, so it can clear enough that she can drink something.

Rice and vegetables and whatever meat is in the fridge. That's what was in this bowl. I can't describe it. It was good to eat, after listening to her sob and not knowing what to do.

Little Bean looked up at us with these sad, worn eyes, asking for help, and we walked through the house broken-hearted. We breathed, for her, seeming calm, so that she could stop heaving sobs through a stuffed-up nose, only making it worse. And then, when she slept, we walk into the living room and burst.

For a couple of days, she stopped eating. Our kid. No food.

Poor little tuckered pumpkin.

(Those of you who wrote to me when I was pregnant, angry that this might become a mama blog? You might want to come back later.)

* * *

It's hard to be parents sometimes. But this enormous love we feel, accompanied by a thin thread of constant worry, means that we have chosen this life where our happiness is tied to this small, snuffling creature. And there's no way to describe it. I feel like I barely write about her here, or anywhere. The number of sentences since she was born are so small, only crumbs compared to the warm bakery. I can only write around the edges of her, of my love for her.

This befuddles me as a writer.

It's two different worlds, the time before, and after. No matter how much I love my husband, my family, my friends, before Little Bean arrived I was alone in my mind. And now, I will never be alone in my mind again, because the thought of her is always there. Always.

Even with the crying, the steamy shower bathrooms to make her nose run, scary nights, and driving around the island for two hours just to make sure she gets a good nap, I have never been so happy in all my life.

* * *

A couple of days ago, Little Bean would only stop crying after half an hour (poor little bean) if I put her in the Baby Bjorn and walked her around. We walked slowly through the backyard, back and forth, the suddenly warm Sunday air good on both our skin. I walked more and more slowly, trying to meditate, breathe in her pain, breathe it away, calm myself.

And then I looked up and saw the cherry tree and blue sky. There are buds up there. Soon, there will be blooms. And perhaps by the time of her birthday in July, she will be eating cherries from her own backyard.

* * *

Last night was hard. Little Bean's cough turned for the worse. She looked depleted, after an entire day of not drinking anything. So we went to the emergency room with her, fervently hoping she'd recover quickly.

It was hard, of course. You don't need me to tell you that. But one of the blessings of those first two weeks of her life is that nothing feels that big to us. We knew she needed hydration -- she didn't even have tears when she cried! -- and that can be really dangerous. But we just figured we were headed to help.

We could even laugh about the fact that, because of all the craziness, we hadn't eaten all day, and so we grabbed the only portable thing in the kitchen -- a Niman Ranch ham steak -- before heading to the ferry. So there we were, driving our daughter to the emergency room, tearing off pieces of ham with our hands, cracking up.

I feel so grateful to have Danny, every day, but particularly in these moments. He's just the best.

She's fine, now. She has a nasty viral infection, and one of the side effects of it in babies is a lack of interest in food and liquids. So we just have to give her liquids all the time. But she got some at the hospital, and she's doing so much better now. We caught the 2:10 ferry home, she slept the whole way there, and through to 9 this morning. She spent much of the day giggling at Itsy Bitsy Spider, bouncing on my knee playing pony girl, and looking up at us with clear eyes. We seem to have turned the corner.

We moved slowly today. We were supposed to have been on a plane to Colorado, where I was meant to speak at the IACP conference on Wednesday. Instead, we napped, talked on the phone, twittered away.

And doesn't the world always look more beautiful after a night in the emergency room, temporarily, for these mundane details and her giggles?

* * *

Our marriage started with a yes. It will continue, this yes, through moving stories and baby's coughs and late nights with spit up on our shoulder instead of kissing until dawn and greeting the dawn with a smile instead of grumbling and quince blossoms and dirty dishes and the love that just continues to grow.

And making food.

After the chaos of last night, it felt good to stand in the kitchen this afternoon, the sun coming through the window on my fingers, chopping onions.

Somehow, I had not cooked since we arrived in this new home. This sight -- food lined up, spoons and spatulas, measuring cups and Dutch ovens -- made me so happy I had to take a photo.

* * *

Little Bean will be fine, soon. We'll never be the same. We're honed by every cry, every time she lifts up her arms and wants to be picked up, every time she wakes in the night. We are here. And thankfully, so is she.

It feels like life is finding its own balance again.

65 Comments:

At 11:42 PM, Blogger Julia Rogers Hamrick said...

I've been following this latest trauma on Twitter and so glad Little Bean is back to herself--or almost!

The disruption in your Colorado plan may just be fortunate as we are expecting a snow here (Denver) all day Wednesday. You never know what a Spring snow may do to the airport!

Nicer to stay snug and warm at home with Baby Girl.

 
At 1:01 AM, Anonymous Clair said...

I hope little Bean gets better soon, I really find that the hardest times are when my kids are sick & I can't make them better!
I feel that all the parts of what we are make up what we eat & how we eat & you could no more stop writing mommy parts than you could stop eating! I love reading your blog, all parts of it. Thank you for sharing your life.

 
At 1:18 AM, Anonymous tracy said...

what beautiful sentiments! you put into words what I've been trying to wrap my head around for the past 6 months of being a new mother.

so glad to hear your little bean is better. you are a trooper!

 
At 2:41 AM, Blogger bleu said...

when my son Bliss was an infant the only way I could eventually come to describe it was that the love was so bog that at times I could only talk about it or look at it peripherally. Like looking directly at the sun can blind you I had to sneak peeks around the edges. It really does come in more fully that we ever imagine.

Those all-nighters are so rough and YES YES YES happier than ever at the same time. Who knew broken hearted could feel so good and awful at the same time.

Much love and I hope lil bean is better still as the day goes by.

 
At 4:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Enjoyed your blog this morning.

best line: "I will never be alone again in my mind"
best description: "tuckered pumpkin"

LL

 
At 4:54 AM, Anonymous Carolyn said...

I'm so glad she's on the mend. And I don't see how anyone could give you a hard time for writing like this, mama or no! To never be alone in your mind again is a perfect description - although, in the early days with a second child, I did have a few moments (mere moments, but still!) of forgetting there were two of them. Speaking of sleep deprivation!

 
At 5:12 AM, Blogger ChupieandJ'smama said...

We went through this same thing with my first son (and I was 6 months pregnant with the 2nd and exhausted!). We literally stood on our heads trying to get him to drink something. He was almost 2 yrs old so we could at least reason with him. It must have even been harder with such a tiny baby.
The memories of the night we spent in Rainbow Babies and Childrens Hospital trying to get fluids in him is still so vivid for me and just as scary today.
I hope the little one is feeling better soon!!

 
At 5:45 AM, Blogger sweetpea said...

Oh my dear Shauna, while I am not a parent so I can't begin to understand that connection, I am a pediatric nurse. I am oh so familiar with both of you right now. I know Bean's symptoms, her lack luster look. More importantly I know you! I know the surreal feeling of not being able comfort her, the frustration of not being able to do anything but wait for this time to pass. I know the disappointment that comes when there is a moment of seeing her feel better but then it ends and she has another day of it all. The waxing and waining of RSV, or any childhood virus, is simply awful. I hope you are all over the worst of it and that some sun shines on the island today!

 
At 6:03 AM, Anonymous Making Love In the Kitchen said...

Awe... Handling sick ones is never easy. Especially the little ones (they always break my heart when their momma's bring them to see me).

It's that fear in their eyes that they don't understand what is happening in their body, don't get that feeling of unwell as they have never known it before. And the helplessness of the parents.

I am not even close to being a momma yet- but sick little ones scare me to bits.

 
At 6:45 AM, Anonymous Danae said...

I am new to your blog.. as a new gluten-free-er.. but enjoy so much your writings on food, on life, and on love. My heart broke for you as I read this one.. as I could almost feel your tiredness and sadness at a sick baby.. but so glad she is feeling better and so amazed by your love! Thanks and please keep it up.

 
At 6:51 AM, Blogger Laura said...

You capture the reality of motherhood with such beauty. I love your recipes and your stories. Thank you.

 
At 7:02 AM, Anonymous beyond said...

you're a mama, you're allowed to talk about your little one on your blog. i am always happy to read about her. it's very scary when little ones get sick, i'm glad she's better now.
i am partial to rice/ veggies/ whatever is in the fridge meals too...

 
At 7:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just went through the same thing with my little one. We were in the ER with her on Saturday night. She, the one who eats so much that other babies stare in wonder, stopped eating. The horror! Now she is feeling better, and so am I. Hang in there!

 
At 7:17 AM, Blogger Julana said...

I know what you mean.

 
At 7:18 AM, Anonymous LaurieA-B said...

A couple of evenings ago, I looked around. Iris was reading a book on the couch and chortling. Matthew was cooking curry noodles with pork. I looked at the two of them and thought, Oh, this is good. My life.

Aren't we lucky to have the most wonderful husbands and daughters?

I'm so glad LB is well and that you cooked in your new house.

 
At 7:22 AM, Anonymous allison said...

So glad that she's feeling better. There really is no pain like that of watching your child suffer. And re the life unfolding with a child--that's something that we've found just continues on and on. Our boy's needs and wants change with each stage he grows through and we, as parents, change as we mature in our roles. Life with a child is a total moving target. All the best as you all make your way through to wellness again. (and try keeping a humidifier on hand for future use--it's worth its weight in gold)

 
At 7:26 AM, Blogger Jason and Michelle Perry said...

Poor little angel. Isn't it amazing when your little one is finally feeling better you start breathing again, and you never even knew you had been holding your breath for all those days and weeks?

 
At 7:26 AM, Blogger Lyn said...

We've just been through a week - our youngest, my baby, 15 now, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. All will be well - it's been removed, 99% chance it's benign, he's like himself today, finally. I totally understand how you feel...
The day they told us of the tumor, after my heart started beating again, we called his 3 older brothers home, I made cookies. It seems silly, but, other than hand-holding, hugs and what might have been false reassurances, what else could I do? It seemed like all I had to offer...

 
At 8:25 AM, Blogger jbeach said...

Good to hear your little one is on the mend.
This post beautifully expressed your love and strength. Thank you so much for sharing with us.

 
At 8:27 AM, Anonymous Sirena said...

Shauna, your writing is so beautiful. I checked your book out from the library and returned it before I was done - It's the kind of book I don't want to borrow, but just have to own :-)), so I'm buying my own copy.
Your post warmed my heart on this cold DC Spring day. You find joy in everything and bring joy to us as readers by sharing that with us. I hope I can write half as well about my life as we prepare to grow our own little family!

 
At 8:35 AM, Blogger Miss Aimee said...

I just started your book last night and am so excited to get in bed tonight and read more!!! Thank you for your inspiration. you are truely a wonderful person. I am excited to follow your blog! cheers.
:)

 
At 9:13 AM, Anonymous kyndale said...

I'm glad your little bean is feeling better. As a fellow mother, you know I know what you have been through. Sending love your way!

 
At 9:13 AM, Anonymous Debbie C. said...

Shauna- I am so happy to hear she is okay. I will be honest here, what you describe is one of the reasons I never wanted children. No, not because of the hardship but because of situations like this. I knew my love for a child would be immense. I knew that if they got sick or hurt that I doubted I could stand watching them suffer while not being able to do anything about it. I thought it would just tear my heart to shreds.

Of course this must be what every parent thinks and goes through, especially in the beginning until you ease up a little and start to realize, they will be okay. They are probably going to have numerous ear infections and will catch everything that goes around until their immune systems get stronger.

I don't know how any parent does it. I give all of you all the credit in the world. It breaks my heart just to read about little Bean's suffering.

I also know that the joy she brings to your world makes it all worth it and I envy that.

You must be so exhausted. All of us here know the healing power of food so make sure to make time for yourself to eat and stay healthy.

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger Cara Hall said...

I, for one, love hearing about your family and I hope your little bean gets well soon.

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger gluten-freek said...

I have been moved to tears by your love for your child. All my thoughts and prayers are with Little Bean and you. I'm glad she's turned the corner!

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger cookiecrumb said...

As you must realize by now, I'm here for the mommy blog.
Best health to you all.

 
At 10:28 AM, Anonymous Leah said...

Why would anyone get angry that this would become a mama blog?

I always thought it was a simply a blog about life and love, and everything in between.

Be well, Little Phlegm Fatale. We'll be here with photos of orange trees and light, whenever you're feeling better! xoxo

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger rebelgirl7 said...

Scary baby moments make your heart stop don't they? So glad she is better.
When little bean gets a bit older an excellent way to get fluids into her when she is sick is popsicles, I bet you guys would come up with gourmet home made ones too.

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger Rachel said...

Hope everyone is feeling better soon.

I don't know if someone has suggested this, but if you're still breastfeeding, you can squirt breast milk up her nose to loosen things up. It tastes better going down her throat than saline and contains all sorts of lovely antibodies to help her fight the virus.

There's a lovely Greg Brown song called Say A Little Prayer about having a sick child that may be nice for you to hear. I bet you can find it on iTunes.

Sending healing vibes from Ballard...

 
At 11:11 AM, Anonymous StuffCooksWant said...

This is the hardest part of being a parent - feeling their pain and not being able to do anything about it. Happens again and again.

Wait until some snotty-nosed kid is mean to her...you'll feel an emotion you've never felt before.

Glad she's on the mend and feeling better.

 
At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Janna said...

Though we don't have children (yet), sick babies are nothing short of sleepless, fearful worrisome thoughts. Little Bean is just as lucky to have your and Danny's love as you both are to have her. Thank god she is on the mend, and healthy again.

 
At 12:05 PM, OpenID bilateralhaze said...

I love that your blog may gain a double title as a mom blog- because you ARE a mother! It's not a part of you that can be taken on and put off easily; it creeps into your entire life.

You're creating a new genre; the cooking mom blog!

 
At 1:22 PM, Anonymous Laurie said...

I've been reading your blog for a long time but never commented. My "baby" turns 21 tomorrow far away at college in London and trust me, the other person that is now always in your mind never goes away. She is a part of you forever and that is something that can never be explained to someone without a child, no matter how hard you try. It's the joy and the torment of being a parent, but I would never give it up for the world. Enjoy your Little Bean (mine is Peach). (And echinacea is great for warding off nasty turns for the worse in viruses and colds.)

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger Mama Bear said...

Fantastic post. Thank you.

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Sara said...

Aw, poor sweetpea. I'm so glad she is starting to get a bit better.

Despite what you say about not being able to write about her, except around the edges - well, those edges are some of the most beautiful things I've ever read. you guys take care and rest up!

 
At 2:59 PM, Anonymous Lisa said...

I hear you girl! My little "bean" turns 21 next Friday. He had a fever seizure at 1 year. I remember rushing to the emergency room frantic. I always knew something was really wrong when he wouldn't eat or drink anything when he was sick. Now he's a big strapping, handsome boy who is away at college. He still gets really sick and I worry and worry because I am not there to take care of him. I didn't really know what love truly was until I had my kids. Hopefully someday they will love taking care of us!

I enjoy your blog as it is a nice blend of who you are which shines light on why you love to cook the things you do!!!!

 
At 3:16 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Oh, my stars in the sky, this had to have been hard. Our 3 week old had the sniffles the other day and I almost died because my heart swelled so much when I looked at his little, red nose. I can only imagine what seeing Lucy so upset and sick must be like. I hope she's right as rain very soon and you can enjoy that house on the island and the kitchen that beckons you to create.

 
At 3:25 PM, Anonymous Zoe said...

Shauna and Danny,

My babies are 22 and 24...our happiness never ceases to be tied to them.

I work for a hospital foundation, and was visiting the hospital one afternoon, when the lady at the reception counter pointed out to me a 93 year old lady who comes everyday to see her baby, who is 72 years old and had been in a coma for three months. Everyday she says the lady comes in and says she is there to see her "baby". It was comforting to me to know, that it was ok, to always be the protective force looking over my babies, because here she was, 93, and still looking after her baby. Unconditional love...it is overwhelming...all consuming...and inexplicable...God Bless and Take Care...Zoe

 
At 3:42 PM, Anonymous Melissa said...

I will keep your daughter in my thoughts. Best wishes.

 
At 4:16 PM, Anonymous Sho said...

You eloguently describe how hard each of our children's illnesses are as well as the gratitude we feel when they recover! Some people may think we ramble when this happens, but if they are lucky, they, too, will find out.

Shoshannah

 
At 9:29 PM, Blogger Kathy said...

Shauna, what a beautiful panegyric to parental love this is. I'm so glad to hear Little Bean is seeming a little better - long may it continue. As for your blog - I come for both the g-free cooking AND the wonderful baby, and I bet many of your readers are the same.

 
At 5:27 AM, Anonymous Katherine said...

I found your blog about a year a go and read regularly and comment occasionally. New postings always cheer up my lunch hour. I love the fact you're combining GF food and motherhood, not least because I'm now pregnant and working to get my head around the challenges to come. You give me so much hope that motherhood might be within my grasp and that, no matter what comes along the way, our love for each other will grow as our love for our child grows. I was feeling really sick and tired earlier this week and reread your 'Yes' piece and remembered why I'm going through feeling so sick and tired. And it sort of made me want to cry and the wonder of it all. And now, today, I sort of want to cry again - I've been rooting for you all through the Twitter updates and now with the relief...and Little Bean is so lucky to have such a record developing of the love that you have for her. Get well soon and remember to keep your system up to scratch as well as repairing hers!

 
At 11:13 AM, Blogger Kitteh said...

Poor Little Bean. I hope you both, and she, are feeling better. Just know it will be fine soon, little ones get sick then almost overnight get better again. (at least thats how it always seemed to me)

Huge hugs to you all.
=)

 
At 4:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As others have said, and I concur, your blog is not just about GF but about good food. To me, this applies to the gift of you sharing all of your life...the Chef and Little Bean and your perspectives on life. I enjoy the whole thing. Please never feel you have to apologize or qualify what you share with us!

I hope the best for Little Bean's full recovery and the joys of well-being to all of you.

Teresa

 
At 4:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although I would never have emailed you, I have to admit that I was worried this blog would become less about the food. Which it has. For many people that won't be a problem, but I also admit that I have no interest in reading about babies and snotty noses. So I read you less frequently now. I don't really think that's a problem for either one of us, but I did think a voice of dissent to all the other pro-baby commenters was necessary.

 
At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just love posts about your life as a mama. You made me crack up along with you as I also imagined you ripping off pieces of ham steak on the way to the ER. Oh, too funny and so very real. All us parents have been there!

 
At 7:03 AM, Blogger Stacey @ The Blessed Nest said...

It is a precious and powerful thing, being a Mother, isn't it? And you're right, words can't describe it. I'm glad that your sweetie is feeling better now!

I also wanted to let you know that my Hubby made me your Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies recipe last night. Ok, can I just say YUM!!! They were SOOO good!! But I decided to make a rich cookie even richer by making ice cream sandwiches with them this morning! Vanilla ice cream in between and rolled with choc chips. I'm dying to try these after lunch! :) And I hope it's ok, but I'm doing a post on my blog about this today, and linking to your recipe so others can enjoy this peanut-buttery goodness!!

Thanks for the inspiration!

 
At 7:47 AM, Blogger Cate said...

i am so happy that lucy, once again, can breathe.

and i am looking forward to the quince blossoms too. yes, indeed.

 
At 8:07 AM, Anonymous Jen said...

I'm so happy to have found your blog before becoming a mama. I have so many concerns and questions...I find comfort in your writing as it addresses all of the beauty, reality and wonder of being a parent. Thanks!

Take care Little Bean!

 
At 9:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How could any one get angry with you for blogging about your baby.... I was so moved and so glad little bean is on the mend i just had to comment. Soon your love for food will return keeping us captured once again until then im happy to read about little bean. Its what makes the world go round.
G xx

 
At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Dallas from Bitchin' Lifestyle said...

thank goodness she is feeling better. This post is beautiful, as your writing always is.

 
At 2:39 AM, OpenID vegeyum said...

Become a mama blog if you want to. how wonderfully complete a child makes one's life, and every every thing in one's life changes - for the better. Bigger than food indeed. Nothing else is important.

 
At 9:54 AM, Anonymous grandstreet said...

What a moving post. So happy to hear that LB is doing better.

The best thing about great writers is that they write well and enthrallingly about any topic. Yes, I'm talking about you! For those dissenters, perhaps they can learn to appreciate your lovely words, whatever the topic.

 
At 10:23 AM, Blogger Mary said...

Shauna, My children are all grown up, but your article brought back many memories! You are a wonderful mother! Just wanted to tell you that I am DISAPPOINTED when you don't talk about your baby!

Also, as a gluten-free cook, I love your recipes! Thanks, Mary

 
At 12:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shauna
glad to hear she's doing better. all this talk about not being able to do anything when our little ones are sick at home makes me want to ask - what about a Naturopathic doctor? didn't a Naturopath first help you get your diagnosis of Celiac? Naturopathic doctors teach their patients what to do to prevent and treat illness, often with things like diet and herbs (we make herbal teas all the time around here when we get sick - I love my Naturopath!)just a thought...

 
At 3:27 PM, Anonymous katie said...

I love reading your blog and I am so sorry to hear Little Bean was sick. I always feel so helpless to fix them when they feel so bad. I am glad she has improved and I hope you guys get some rest!

 
At 9:39 AM, Blogger Antsy said...

So glad to know LB is doing better and that you and you husband made it through as well. Our youngest has made many mid-night trips to the ER for the same reason, and I feel your exhaustion! I also had no idea you lived on the same island as our family - I probably missed some posts here and there (I was sleeping with a propped up 5 year old on Friday night) and will have to go read up. With 2 littles of my own, I can tell you it's been a winter full of nasty bugs here on the Island. Hope you get some rest and a nice meal.

 
At 8:07 PM, Blogger GFE--gluten free easily said...

You've just captured what it means to be parents. It's the hardest when your child is suffering. I'm so glad she's better now. When they stop drinking, the hospital is definitely the place to go. I went to the ER a number of times over the years (some I now know were related to my son's gluten intolerance). It's tough, but you do what you have to do. Eventually things return to normal and the worrisome stuff fades to the background. Mom and dad get some sleep and baby resumes playing and laughing and all is good. :-)

Hugs,
Shirley

 
At 9:51 PM, Blogger Jack O'Sullivan said...

I am glad to hear that Bean is just about back to normal. I just can't stand it when my little baby aches. It just breaks my heart to see my little girl upset. Thanks for sharing a little bit of you with us.

 
At 2:19 AM, Blogger Heather Pelczar said...

I love this post!!! I feel so much the same for my little girl and have experienced the ER and liquid depleting viruses- I jsut love this post. I am so happy that Little Bean is well again and eating again! :) Thank you for your honesty.

 
At 2:25 AM, Blogger Janel said...

Every one of us with kids have been there and it's always a huge relief to come out okay on the other side.

I firmly believe that what you cook is a reflection of your life at that moment and she's a huge part of your life, so I'm amazed if you don't want to gush about Little Bean!

 
At 1:43 PM, Anonymous cathy said...

Kids' colds are just the worst, aren't they??? And they get SO MANY of them, especially once they start going to school or being around other kids alot....builds up their immune systems I guess but it sure run down mine! I don't know what I'd do without frozen dinners sometimes.

 
At 8:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You probably know this so forgive me if you do, putting saltwater into your little ones nose while it is very stuffed will help it drain better than on it's own. I always did that with my little peanuts and believe me, it's very worth the mess.

 
At 6:56 AM, Blogger Cartersg1 said...

My daughter used to be sick all winter. We thought, when she was younger, it was just a process of being a toddler. But the runny noses continued until last fall when she started getting sick again. Her first grade snack included milk - she has a milk allergy. My husband is insistent that it is an intolerance but I know an allergy when I see one. He only says that so as not to consign our Munchkin to a "life of denial", as he sometimes calls it. But she is much healthier this winter with only one bout of illness that required a doctor's visit and it was completely unrelated to any infectious disease zipping around her school. I've had my sleepless nights and cantankerous days of toddler illness (she was adopted at age 2) and that was tough but we survived.

How could you not but write about how your Little Bean has changed your life? You are more aware of the changes that motherhood thrusts upon our lives as women and how food is doubly important when you are trying to make sure your child grows up healthy and strong and with a great appreciation for food. In a world where many parents cop-out to fast food and fake food (anything from the freezer section at the store), it is good to enlighten us with how simple it really is to put together food that is good and wholesome and even fun! Thanks!

 
At 7:40 AM, Blogger Larissa said...

Motherhood changes every single thing in life. Or well, so it has done for me. How could you not write about it? Also what and how we eat, and our health, these are so very linked to motherhood as well. I hope your little bean is feeling better soon... seems you folks have had a rough go at times. We had, too, with our son, particularly in the 3 years before his celiac diagnosis (and then mine, and my sister's).

I just want to say that it gets easier, sometimes. And sometimes it just makes your heart want to break. Motherhood is having a piece of our hearts outside our bodies, after all.

Though we've never met - I hope you know just a little tiny bit of how much you inspire me.

 

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