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30 May 2005


And what a grateful time to be feeling healthy. I'm so happy to feel my body restore itself. I can't even tell you what a remarkable difference there is in me since I stopped eating gluten. I'm starting to feel better than I ever have in my life. Energy is surging through me, for the first time in years. And frankly, that's worth more than anything else in the world. To feel alive, and feel as though I finally have energy to give to other people, because that's true life for me.

This morning, I was on Vashon Island, visiting my brother and sister-in-law. But mostly, I was there to see my dear, dear nephew, whose high, clear voice moves me and makes me laugh every time he talks. My nephew and I were dancing to Stevie Wonder's Innervisions, which I hadn't heard in years, and running around the rooms in circles. I was flapping my arms, making him laugh, twirling my feet in and out, making him laugh. "Shauna is silly!" he shouted, in his sweet, two-year-old voice, giggling. I love making him giggle, watching his shoulders shake. But a few moments later, I stopped trying to make him laugh and just bounced around the room, my center of gravity deep within me, my feet solid on the ground, and my energy inexhaustible. I felt dissolved into the moment, open and free of any former self. I felt as though I could dance forever, with my little buddy by my side. For months, I had to sit on the couch, wan and wincing, while he danced around the living room. Today, I could outlast him. I felt alive.

Everything feels alive now.


At 7:27 AM, Blogger mary grimm said...

I like your blog a lot--very good writing--so I decided to go back and read your archives. Your account of your diagnosis reminded me of my own. I don't have celiac disease, but I am hypothyroid (low thyroid), and it was undiagnosed for about a year, during which I sometimes wondered if I was dying. I too started feeling better immediately, although my deliverer was a levothyroxin pill--the day I took my first one, I felt so gratuitously good that I washed the kitchen floor.


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